The beginning of a journey

Below is an extract from a diary piece I did for the Official Cavan GAA Yearbook 'The Road to Breffni'. In it are several outtakes of a diary that I kept over the course of 2011 - the year in which after many seasons trying Cavan finally recaptured an Ulster title. This is the first of those entries.

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That Wednesday night in April was without doubt the proudest moment of my life. Standing on the pitch, surrounded by my team-mates, my friends, looking up at the podium waiting for G Mac to lift our Ulster title – it’s hard to describe the feeling at that point. It’s an adrenaline rush but not like one any of us have felt before. It’s pure satisfaction. It’s happiness. That was the high-point of the journey. Things weren’t always that good…..


November 25 2010

My body’s shaking uncontrollably as a searing and repetitive pain shoots through my midriff. Moving makes it worse and I squeeze the unfamiliar bed frame in search of some sort of comfort. The nurse beside my bed spots my distress and finally comes to my aid. After fiddling at my hand she tells me she has pumped morphine into my system but the pain continues. She tries to distract me by engaging in conversation but talking only makes the pain worse. Ignorantly, I lie there and stare at the blank ceiling; manners are certainly not at the top of my priority list at this moment in time. Unfortunately there is absolutely nothing up there to amuse my eyes or distract my brain any longer and the pain overrides every thought in my head once more.

My sentences are coming out sounding like a have a bad stammer. I start to breathe heavily and the more I move my diaphragm in and out the worse it becomes. There is an oxygen mask covering my mouth and I suck in air like a rookie diver about to submerge myself underwater. The nurse, in her wisdom, tells me to slow down my breathing or I will hyperventilate. Does she really think telling me that is going to help calm me down? My facial expression clearly gets the message across. Thank god it does because talking is too much hassle and not worth the effort right now – normally you can’t shut me up but now I don’t want to talk – this pain is consuming me.

Finally, she takes the hint and pumps more morphine in an effort to help me relax. The pain begins to ease. Numbness begins to spread throughout my groin and it is a welcome relief. At this stage I’m drifting in and out of consciousness as the anesthesia works its magic. My eyes give up the fight and close.



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I’m woken up by someone shaking my arm; this time it is a different nurse. I know I have my wits about me again at this stage as my immediate reaction is to check her out. She’s a tidy bit of work. Thankfully I’m no longer as high as a kite and I remember where I am and what has happened. I’m sitting in the Day Ward of the Hermitage Medical Clinic, Dublin. I’ve just had a Hernia Repair operation on my right side after playing with a mysterious pain in my quad and groin that nobody could pin down over the last two years. My surgeon Michael Allen thinks this will do the trick. I have no other option but to trust him.

2011 brings a whole new calendar year and with it a whole new set of competitions. I’m still a long way away from playing and I know I have an awful lot of gym work to get through but already lying here in this hospital bed, and briefly distracted by that stunning nurse I am already thinking about the months ahead and the opportunities they will bring. I have to play with the u21’s – it’s my last chance. For now though all I have to worry about is getting out of this hospital and getting home to Cavan for some TLC that only a mother can give in times like these.

Turning the Tide

There have been plenty of unexpected happenings in 2011 but, perhaps, the most surprising of all has been the reincarnation of Cavan football.

For the past number of years football in the Breffni County has been wallowing in self-pity like a washed up alcoholic, whose father was a very successful man, sitting in the corner of a pub. He sits there thinking about what he is going to do in the future to change and restore his family’s pride. However, no matter how hard he focuses his brain and conjures up plans he always reverts to type and will be back in the same corner again the next day thinking instead of doing.

He just can’t break his rut. At this stage he has sat in that miserable corner for too many years listening to people tell him that he is no good and as a result has lost his genuine inner-belief that he is capable of better.

Just because that is his lifestyle though does not condemn his children to the same fate. These kids have grown up looking at their father’s mistakes and his misfortunes and they have a choice. They can accept that what the monkey will see, the monkey will do or they can be different, recognise his mistakes and try to navigate their own path in life.

Thankfully after years of disappointment this year has produced some hope for Cavan folk. A first Ulster u21 title since 1996 had the county buzzing back in April and when the squad reached Croke Park for the All-Ireland final the Breffni supporters flocked to HQ like those stuck in purgatory had discovered the gates to heaven were open for a limited period.

However, since that day Cavan’s fortunes have sharply nose-dived once more. Galway cruised past Cavan in that decider and that disappointing end to a fairytale journey was swiftly followed by two disastrous results at senior level at home to Longford and Donegal.

In two foul swoops, all the positivity and the good feeling that had been built-up around the county through that u21 journey was eroded. Pessimism, disappointment, anger and frustration invaded the mindset of general supporters who were bewildered by the senior team’s shortcomings once more. And then it came, like a knight in shining armour. Another beacon of hope was lit as the minors gallantly marched to Sunday’s Ulster final – a first since 1988.

Is this a coincidence that both teams have broken through onto unchartered (well, more like forgotten) territory within a couple of months of one another or is there something more there?

Having grown up watching his father consistently come up short has this sibling drawn inspiration from his older brother and realised what is possible with the right application?

They have developed as teenagers watching their father sitting despondently in that corner with everyone looking down on him, belittling him and giving him no respect. They don’t know how their father got to that place and they don’t blame him for it. It just happened over time. It was a gradual decline – a whole series of unfortunate events.

Both the u21’s and the minors have shown this year that they are willing to work extremely hard to alter the general perception associated with Cavan football nowadays. Making that conscious decision to be different takes a lot of courage and effort but the initial decision is only the beginning of the work ahead if this county’s reputation is to be truly restored.

These two boys have already tasted relative success in their respective areas but what they really want is one successful family organisation with their father because that is what they have dreamt of since a young age.

Perhaps the tide is beginning to turn in Cavan but all the children can do is keep the faith and try to consistently improve. They key question the father has to ask himself is, is he happy to slump in that murky corner or is he willing to take a step towards the light? The children can help him make those initial strides forward as he looks to rediscover his ambition and drive to be successful once more but is he willing to go through all the battling that will get him on the road to that place where he has dreamed of getting to for years?

Championship buzz is upon us.....again!

By Alan O’Mara

It’s over a month now since our u21 campaign came to a disappointing end in Croke Park against Galway on a scoreline of 2-16 to 1-09.

However, not many of us have had much time to reflect on that nightmare ending to what was otherwise a fairytale year together. In the immediate aftermath of the game against Galway it’s hard to express the collective disappointment the group felt.

Naturally, we felt we didn’t do ourselves justice on the day and the likes of myself, Gearoid McKiernan, Oisin Minnagh, Niall McDermott and Niall Murray will never get a chance to put that right at underage level with Cavan.

Life as they say though goes on and there literally was no time for us to wallow in self-pity as the majority of the squad had to pick themselves up and prepare for college exams.

I think Val Andrews and Terry Hyland recognised the fact that most of us had given so much to Cavan football in the run-up to that All-Ireland final. Much to their credit, the week or two after that game we were given the opportunity to recharge the batteries and focus our attentions on matters that had been somewhat neglected in previous weeks.

Throughout the whole NFL campaign Terry and Val were terrific with the u21’s, using us sparingly. That’s a massive call for any new management team to make as very often instant results are expected but Val along with Terry recognised the fact that we had a fantastic opportunity to achieve something at u21 level and give the entire county a boost.

Even when things weren’t going well in the league they stuck by the arrangement – a decision which took huge courage when the pressure was mounting towards the end as the threat of relegation loomed.

That U21 campaign which saw us secure a first Ulster title for the county since 1997 is over now and many of us have concluded our chapter of underage football. However, that feeling of euphoria we experienced together when the final whistle blew in Brewster Park, Eniskillen on April 13 is one we are determined to make happen again and it will drive the core of the group on again to the next level.

The fact is, when growing up, every child in Cavan dreams of playing senior football for the county and we are lucky enough to be at that point now – with ten of the u21 team called into the senior panel. Ultimately, the minor and u21 age groups are stepping stones towards that and it’s important not be happy with just one Ulster medal for the rest of our careers.

For years people in this county have talked about that ‘talented minor team’ or that ‘great u21 team’ but the difference this time around is we went and won something and that can only benefit the senior team in years to come.

Talent has never been a problem in Cavan but nobody can deny a winning mentality has been lacking in recent years. You would hope that is starting to change though as between the Cavan Minor, U21 and Junior teams this year they have won seven out of eight championship matches thus far. Hopefully some of this year’s u21’s can bring that positivity, fearlessness and energy to reinvigorate others in the senior camp who have had, in all honestly, a few tough years together.

It’s a symbiotic relationship and there can be no ‘them and us’ mentality because we are all senior footballers now and want the same thing – for Cavan to succeed. As much as we can bring that audacity of youth and optimism into the group, we look to those who have already been on the senior circuit for their experience and guidance.

I’d be lying if I said I feel completely at home in the senior dressing room already. It’s a bit like that feeling you get if you are a kid starting in a new school and as much as people try to aid your bedding in it just takes time to feel like you are truly one of the lads. I’ve played with half the championship squad at underage level and I think in time we can definitely form a close-knit squad together and improve.

This Sunday will be a very difficult game and there is no doubt we will be massive underdogs. Not too many pundits spoke positively of Donegal after their preliminary round victory over Antrim but at the end of the day they got what was required in championship football and that was a win.

It’s unlikely many of this year’s u21’s will start this weekend but it is important that we are there sampling the atmosphere and getting used to the increased intensity because there is no doubt that there is a huge step-up to senior championship football.

In the past two years we have played a Donegal side led by Jim McGuiness at u21 level so we have a fair idea of how he likes to set his teams up at this stage. We will simply just have to match their work-rate and be smart in possession when going forward if we are going to break them down. We showed earlier on in the year that this system can be beaten if you are willing to do those things.

Our u21 adventure proved there are thousands of supporters out there in Cavan and there would be no better sight than that blue army invading Breffni Park this weekend to cheer the team on. A little belief goes a long way.