That Wednesday night in April was without doubt the proudest moment of my life. Standing on the pitch, surrounded by my team-mates, my friends, looking up at the podium waiting for Gearoid McKiernan to lift our Ulster title – it’s hard to describe the feeling at that point. It’s an adrenaline rush but not like one any of us have felt before. It’s pure satisfaction. It’s happiness. That was the high-point of the journey. Things weren’t always that good…..
November 25 2010
My body’s shaking uncontrollably as a searing and repetitive pain shoots through my midriff. Moving makes it worse and I squeeze the unfamiliar bed frame in search of some sort of comfort. The nurse beside my bed spots my distress and finally comes to my aid. After fiddling at my hand she tells me she has pumped morphine into my system but the pain continues. She tries to distract me by engaging in conversation but talking only makes the pain worse. Ignorantly, I lie there and stare at the blank ceiling; manners are certainly not at the top of my priority list at this moment in time. Unfortunately there is absolutely nothing up there to amuse my eyes or distract my brain any longer and the pain overrides every thought in my head once more.
My sentences are coming out sounding like a have a bad stammer. I start to breathe heavily and the more I move my diaphragm in and out the worse it becomes. There is an oxygen mask covering my mouth and I suck in air like a rookie diver about to submerge myself underwater. The nurse, in her wisdom, tells me to slow down my breathing or I will hyperventilate. Does she really think telling me that is going to help calm me down? My facial expression clearly gets the message across. Thank god it does because talking is too much hassle and not worth the effort right now – normally you can’t shut me up but now I don’t want to talk – this pain is consuming me.
Finally, she takes the hint and pumps more morphine in an effort to help me relax. The pain begins to ease. Numbness begins to spread throughout my groin and it is a welcome relief. At this stage I’m drifting in and out of consciousness as the anesthesia works its magic. My eyes give up the fight and close.
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I’m woken up by someone shaking my arm; this time it is a different nurse. I know I have my wits about me again at this stage as my immediate reaction is to check her out. She’s a tidy bit of work. Thankfully I’m no longer as high as a kite and I remember where I am and what has happened. I’m sitting in the Day Ward of the Hermitage Medical Clinic, Dublin. I’ve just had a Hernia Repair operation on my right side after playing with a mysterious pain in my quad and groin that nobody could pin down over the last two years. My surgeon Michael Allen thinks this will do the trick. I have no other option but to trust him.
2011 brings a whole new calendar year and with it a whole new set of competitions. I’m still a long way away from playing and I know I have an awful lot of gym work to get through but already lying here in this hospital bed, and briefly distracted by that stunning nurse I am already thinking about the months ahead and the opportunities they will bring. I have to play with the u21’s – it’s my last chance. For now though all I have to worry about is getting out of this hospital and getting home to Cavan for some TLC that only a mother can give in times like these.
December 10 2010
I met Enda King of Cavan Gaels, a physio out in the Sports Surgery Clinic in Santry, two days ago to start my rehab programme following the surgery two weeks ago. In general, I had been feeling pretty good. I was back driving and walking comfortably enough. Coughing was a horrific experience and I was unlucky enough to pick a cough during my recovery. At times the pain of doing that had me close to tears and throw in the discomfort of a malfunctioning waste disposal system due to the operation it really was not a comfortable time!
When I met up with Enda he more or less went through my whole body and tested various bits and pieces. Enda, a fine footballer with Cavan Gaels, also went through the exact same operation recently so if anyone knows the pains and problems I am going to suffer along the way it is him.
He went through simple exercises with me just to get my lower body ticking over again. Most of them were basic core stuff that every player in the country that has been injured will know about. They are about as exciting as watching paint dry. Chatting away to him I was optimistic and he knows I want to be back playing in six weeks. Leaving the clinic, he handed me a piece of paper with all the exercises on it and said, “This is your life for the next seven days”. I looked at him and laughed but he didn’t smile. He meant business.
3 January 2011
It’s great to get back into a team environment and to be in and around the lads again is reinvigorating. Recently I’ve been togging out with the lads but when they hit the 3G pitch I trot up to gym upstairs to do my bit. It’s better than sitting at home doing these things by yourself all the time. I have literally been doing them every day. I even made a stab at them on Christmas Day but I won’t lie; I gave up half way through them, ate a chocolate Kimberly before washing it down with a can of Heineken.
Most of the days up in the gym I had the company of Kevin Meehan, who was having troubles of his own. He kept me sane half of the time. A human encyclopedia.
Today though I’m out on the 3G pitch…….but it’s to manage the DIT Fresher team against the u21’s. To say it was a strange experience would be an understatement. It just made me want to play even more. After the game I went back to the gym and did more core work, which involved lying on my back and lifting my leg up and down for 30 minutes – literally. I was getting there.
5 February 2011
I won my first ever trophy with Cavan today but it was far from the bright lights of Clones or Croke Park. We beat Roscommon by three points in the final of the Hastings Cup in Longford and despite the awful conditions on the day we chipped in with some good scores.
Most times competitions like this are looked down upon but we got some good tests out of it this year and I don’t care what anyone says winning this will help lads believe in themselves that bit more moving forward. Winning is a habit and something we want to get used to.
11 February 2011
Tonight we played Dublin u21’s in a challenge match in Mullagh, the reigning All-Ireland champions at this level so it was a massive test for us. We played well in the first half and were winning 0-5 to 0-3 at the break. It was a scrappy enough affair with heavy underground conditions but we showed the basic requirements of hunger and work-rate.
I’m feeling an awful lot sharper now compared to just two weeks ago when I played my first game back against Meath. My reactions are getting quicker and I’m slowly building up my confidence. I remember one night training with Enda by myself thinking do I still have it as he mercilessly hammered goal after goal past me? He was relentless and I will forever feel I owe him for the service he gave me which was far beyond his job description. It turns out if you don’t play football for a year you get crap at it. It really isn’t a switch you can turn on. Anyway that’s enough about me.
Our second half was so disappointing. We only scored one point and the Dubs completely ran the show. At times it looked like we were men against boys especially at midfield where we were completely overrun without Gearoid, who was getting ready to play in the All-Ireland Junior Final with Swanlinbar.
From the team’s point of view lessons need to be learned and quick because lads won’t find championship sneaking up on them. We just stopped fighting and that is not good enough in a county like Cavan where nobody shows you any respect. If we want to get that respect we have to earn it and if we are not working hard then I honestly feel we are all wasting our time. That is the bare minimum for us.
23 February 2011
Let me quickly try and sum up yesterday. Leave Dublin at 5pm with G Mac, Oisin Minnagh, Shane Gray and Barry Tully in my car. Get to Newry and smell burning in car. Turn off the heater and hope it goes away. Windows steam up so put back on heat. Smell oil again. Check engine and realise no cap on the oil tank. Take off sock, on two people’s recommendation, to cover the tank. Get to game 45 minutes later than everyone else but beat Armagh in our toughest challenge to date. We really are getting there and starting to look sharp. If we play like we did tonight all the time it is going to take one hell of a team to beat us. Check sock and it’s still ok. Start driving home but car feels fucked. Get to Dundalk before car cuts out. After inspection, remove sock from tank with the help of two pens and Minnagh. Abandon ship on M1. There we are, late at night, the five of us sitting on the edge of the motorway with Cavan bags on the ground beside us. You couldn’t make this stuff up. Get Padraig Dolan, our stats man, to come back and get a lift home with nine of us squashed in the jeep. Get home at 1.30am. The things you do for Cavan football. RIP Ford Focus. You and that ‘Five’ tape did us proud over the years.
26 February 2011
19 days to our Ulster Championship match and here we are talking about drink. This week is RAG week in Sligo and Galway and a few of the boys expressed a desire to enjoy it. The game is just over two weeks away now and it is potentially the last time we might get to play together. Thankfully I wasn’t the only one against the idea and Minnagh, McDermott, G Mac, Smithy and Kevin Meehan all said it was time to cop on. We must have debated it for over 10 minutes at the end in the huddle together. The management stepped out of the huddle and let us discuss it ourselves. I love how Terry does that. He really gives the players a sense of responsibility.
In fairness I can see why some of the younger lads who are in their first year in college want to go out and enjoy RAG week but we haven’t been training since November to piss it all away just two weeks before the first hurdle. RAG weeks happen every year. We have serious talent in our ranks at the minute and this team could be the catalyst to awaken all from their slumber and give the senior team a new lease of life. I see it every time I go down to training with the seniors. There just isn’t the same buzz to them. No spark, no energy. They talk and talk and talk about doing things but when the time comes to do it nobody does. I have faith in Val to bring us lads through and get the right mixture of youth and experience going forward.
I pitied the lads that were fresher and in the end I sent a text to Aidan Moran, just out of minor, and asked him are we being harsh on them. The lads who are at every training session and don’t get playing deserve so much respect. At this stage the likes of Aidan know they aren’t going to make the Championship team but their commitment didn’t wane. Lads like him make a panel. The drinking can wait until we have Ulster medals in our pockets.
16 March 2011– First Round v Fermanagh
It’s D-day. I don’t know how many times I called up to DCU to chat to the likes of Minnagh, Smith and Tighe, who all live together out there or called down to Gearoid. Poor Facebook must have been sick of us talking about football. No matter how many times we tried to avoid talking about football the conversation always went full circle and looped back to the u21 set-up. The fact is without this team we wouldn’t be friends at all. Football is what brings us together a couple of times a week and we want to be successful.
The meeting before in the Meadow View was nice and relaxed. Terry talked us through various bits and pieces, while Fordey used video clips from previous games that year to show what we do well and remind us not what to do.
On the bus a few lads had iPods in their ears but most sat back and sipped some water as we watched the DVD that was based on the Galway football team in 1998, ‘A year til Sunday’.
Before I knew it we were coming into Enniskillen and the DVD changed from the Galway footballers back to the DVD which highlighted our successes over the year and what our whole team and style of football was about. The clips clearly showed our work-rate, tackling, desire, creativity in attack and most importantly support-play all over the field. We know we will need to get all those things spot on today to book our place in the last four of the province.
Standing in the dressing room just before the game I knew we weren’t going to lose. As we stood around the table with our arms linked in a huddle I glanced around. For me personally this was my first competitive game for Cavan in two years and I wanted this so bad. Looking at the faces of the rest of the team I knew they wanted it too.
23 March 2011 – Ulster semi-final v Donegal
Anthony Forde summed it up just after the pre-match meal in The Meadoview Inn. Tonight was going to make or break of this team.
Thankfully we learned our lessons from last year’s final and I have to give it to the management again – tactically we were spot on tonight.
To try and beat their swarm defence our half-back line was told not to go past the half-way line. Our game plan was simple. We were looking for swift and early ball straight into our full-forward line and if things did become too congested and crowded then ‘patience’ was to be our key motto. On numerous times when all avenues became blocked, we simply turned around and recylced the ball back out to our spare bodies out the field, who had refused to follow their men into the dangerzone, and from there we went at it again – simply probing for a weakness or an opening and with the quality and intelligence of the forwards we have they came.
Before the game we lost Niall Murray in the warm-up through illness so he had to miss out on his starting spot. It’s the type of person he is and when most would have went out and tried to start he held up his hand and admitted he wasn’t fit to do his job today and handed that task onto someone else. That takes a serious amount of courage. Before the game I saw him up against the wall in the corner. He was inconsolable and close to tears but it simply spurred us all on even more. We owed him another day out – we owed him an Ulster final.
After the game all the talk in the dressing room was the fact that the club league campaign was starting that weekend and we didn’t know whether we should play.
As the debate rumbled on it was put to bed temporarily by a scene that a comic writer couldn’t even imagine. As we were all sitting down, tired and exhausted, just wanting to hit the showers out of nowhere came a random shout ‘Mouse’.
For a group that where out on their feet with exhaustion I have never seen some of the lads like Marc Leddy move as quick. There was pure horror in some of their faces as this mouse meandered its way past boots, gloves, lucozade bottles and banana skins in the search of safety.
I genuinely just couldn’t have been arsed moving but a few seconds later I was nearly on the floor in tears of laughter. Darragh Tighe, our corner-back, who had the same groin operation two months after me but somehow made it back for our campaign, ran after this mouse swinging his left boot at it. He kicked bags, bottles and everything but the actual mouse. It was hilarious.
I can guarantee you if the club was at him to play or any other team for that matter there is no way he would have cut through the rehab the way he did. Two weeks after his op he went out running by himself. His wound hadn’t even sealed over fully and it reopened. All he wanted to do was play on this team.
I know for a fact it still hurts him and he will need to spend some time doing more rehab and core-work when this championship is over to truly sort himself in the long-run. Yet here he is doing his bit for the cause week-in week-out, taking anti-inflammatory tablets, chasing mice and just getting on with things. It’s people like him that never get the credit he deserves but he is an integral part of this team and I wouldn’t trust any defender more than I trust him. He is a joy to play behind and late on when Donegal came looking for a goal there was a massive goalmouth scramble. My save from the initial shot had trickled clear across the goal and all hell broke loose. My first reaction was to smoother it. Lying on the ground, facing the goal and surrounded by Donegal men I looked up. There was Tighe and Oisin Minnagh covering my arse as I crawled like a baby on the deck trying to clear our lines. Legends.
13 April 2011 – Ulster Final
This was it; our time to shine. I couldn’t have picked a better team to be playing. This Tyrone team was the one side we could never seem to beat when we were younger. At u16 they hammered us. At minor, they absolutely crushed us as our naivety cost us dear in Clones when we were on the brink of the Ulster Final.
We were all buzzing for it and there is no way we could let those boys get the better of us again. The ball got thrown in, G Mac grabbed it and banged it inside. Murray back from his previous disappointment races onto it and sticks it in the net after 11 seconds.
Talk about setting the tone. It was a serious game and I have never played with a team that played with the intensity that we did that night. We literally didn’t give them an inch.
Before the final, many people said it was our chance to gain revenge on Tyrone but I didn’t see it that way at all. I know if we didn’t win that game it would have annoyed me until the day I died. That game was about us proving a point to ourselves that we can beat anyone on our day. We were sick of having regrets.
Sitting in the dressing room before the game I closed my eyes and remembered my first time playing for Cavan. I’d say I was 14 and I remember getting on a bus full of unfamiliar faces to play in a blitz up the north somewhere. To win an Ulster title with those fellas was incredible. Seeing Darragh Tighe jump up and down like he did at the full-time whistle made all the effort and energy put in over the years seem more than worthwhile.
The feeling when the final whistle was euphoric. How did we celebrate? We went to the swimming pool in the Slieve Russell after the game and were in there that night at 12 o’clock.
Cavan for Sam!
